A little panic; a mini-bucket list

January has been a bit of a crazy month. I haven’t posted anything, or even attempted to post, because of various family commitments that came up suddenly this month. What a way to start the year.

This past week and this weekend, I’ve come up with a sort of bucket list. It’s not really a “bucket list”, but more of a “what will I miss in the next few months” list while I recover from another surgery.

I have to admit that I’m already feeling panic. I have a cold this weekend and if it turns into anything worse, my surgery will be cancelled. I’ve been torn between wanting to fit in as much as I can, and trying to get some rest to get rid of the cold.

So what have I been trying to do? I’ve been doing all the pre-op stuff that has to be done; blood tests, meet with anesthetist, read my instructions, stay off booze and any aspirin or ibuprofen type pain killers. So far, so good. It is frustrating to wake up with a sinus headache, admittedly after over indulging in wine for the last time, and be unable to pop an Advil.

I’m also trying to cook as much as I can, swim every day and exercise as much as I can possibly tolerate. It’s hard to do nothing and it’s even worse if I already feel like a blimp. I want to be as fit as possible before surgery.

I know I’ve gone through this before, but it might be different this time. I know my family members have all survived joint replacements on a major scale, but I am still feeling occasional panic, again, at the thought of going under.

I’m trying to do as much as I can, partly because I want to fit it in once more before I’m laid up, but also to keep myself occupied. I want to be around people, visiting and socializing, because when I’m alone I get a little scared. I get a little depressed at the thought of doing nothing for another two weeks to a month.

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