Maybe ’cause it’s Monday….

I’m having a “blue Monday”. I’m generally a happy person and I love living here, but sometimes I just get tired of the sh*t everywhere. Yes, it’s been a “crappy” weekend and I mean that literally.

Saturday morning I woke up late. I’d been keeping late hours working on a sewing project and it was the first time all week I’d actually slept in. I also woke up with a brutal sinus headache and nausea. I thought a swim would help me work out the morning stiffness and help me feel better.

I looked at the pool and realized that either someone had been throwing clots of mud in during the night, or several iguanas had managed to relieve themselves in the earlier morning hours. We don’t have a lot of mud here. The soil is pretty sandy. On close inspection it was obvious that the second option was true. So that’s what is meant by a sh*t show!

I got out the net and started cleaning out as much as I could. The pool isn’t very big, about 8 metres by 6 metres, and the bottom was absolutely covered in poop. By the time I felt like a person could reasonably go into the pool without stepping in it, my headache and nausea was such that I didn’t want to swim anymore.

There were many people using the pool all weekend, which deters the little beasties. There is a pump and filter and the water is treated, so it was much less disgusting after a few hours. Sunday I was up earlier and used the pool early but before that I managed to catch a couple of very large, ugly iguanas attempting to repeat the poop party. I chased them away and kept a close watch all day. After a few months of having our own deck free of iguanas I also caught a couple of them trying to sneak on. They clearly hadn’t “got the memo”. By the end of the day I was feeling overrun. It’s the new generation of iguanas that have multiplied the problem, probably by about forty times.

That brings me to today,  Monday. I only saw one iguana this morning while enjoying a leisurely breakfast on our deck. As soon as I stood up it ran away into the mangroves. However, sometime while I was out getting groceries, another culprit managed to foul the pool deck, or as they see it, the poop deck. The sidewalk alongside our building was covered in poop. It’s an exercise in agility to walk out to the pool.  I decided that Friday, when the cleaning guy comes, can’t come soon enough. I’d wanted to give my car a  good rinse so I got the hose out and sprayed off the sidewalk on the way to my car.

Okay, so I’ve cleaned the sidewalk, rinsed my car and scooped debris out of the pool that must have blown in during the rain storm. I’m hot and sweaty and in my bathing suit and shorts. I would go cool off in the pool for 5 minutes before coming in to make supper.

For some reason it smells like an outhouse outside. Yes an outhouse, as in an outdoor toilet without flushing abilities, a port-a-potty, a latrine, a privy, an outbuilding. This is not exactly conducive to a relaxing cool-off in the pool. Now, not only am I surrounded by excrement, but the entire pool area smells like it.

In most places it smells fresh after a rain and I usually love it here after a good rainfall. In fact, from up on our deck, it does smell fresh! Why does the pool smell like an outhouse?

Three possibilities come to mind. The breeze from the dump, aka “Mount Trashmore”, although it’s not that close, is just at the right angle to hit the pool area. Second possibility, people are using the empty lot not only as a dumping ground, but as a camping area and leaving their “waste” behind. This seems unlikely, but who knows? Third possibility is that our septic system is backing up and somehow  we can smell it in the pool area, but not from the deck. This would be very odd because our deck overlooks the pool and you would think the odor would rise. This makes the dump scenario more likely because as with storms, the deck is protected from the prevailing winds.

Whatever the reason, it was a bad day to happen. Yes, I love my home in Paradise. It’s always warm here and I love being near the sea. I’m happy to have indoor plumbing and electricity and air conditioning.  I’m glad I don’t live in a country where the aroma of sewage is the norm. I know I’m lucky to have the life I have. Today, though, I just got tired of being surrounded by feces.